A few weeks was the day I was born but three years ago on that same day is when I came out to my mum as a trans man via a text because I knew she isn’t the letter type of person. You can imagine how I felt trying to write that text with my heart wanting to jump out of my chest, and all you sent me back is ok. With that two-letter answer, I knew that she didn’t get the meaning of what I’m trying to say and it took years for her to understand and although she’s doing much better with dealing with the fact that I’m now her son. However, she still misgenders me every day, and that makes me angry because she doesn’t see who I really am.

To make things worse every time I go to the gender clinic, they misgender me which sucks big time and don’t get me wrong they’re fantastic at what they and I can handle being misgendered in most situations but for some unknown reason when talking about my medical transition being referred to with female pronouns cuts deep.

So, after talking to my psychologist about this, she told me to tell my social worker about this issue, so I did, and it looks like they had a meeting where they talked about it and what they said was that since my mum misgenders me in front of them, they get mixed up but that in my opinion doesn’t make it a right thing to do, especially since they are the ones who ask me to have my mum present in my appointments.

My social worker brought up the analogy that when people misgender, it should be like a raincoat and the rain that slides off it, but in all honesty, I don’t know how I feel about the whole analogy because it affects me in certain situations and doesn’t in others.


7 thoughts on “Misgendering

  1. As a gay man I can relate to that feeling of being misunderstood and that people tend to see me as the person they want me to be. I realise our situations aren’t quite the same, but one thing that has given me so much relief is to just accept people and their ignorance. Ultimately it’s their issue, and most people genuinely mean well, they just lack exposure and experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know for the clinic to go with ” cause your mom does it” made no sense. But as you get older you learn that YOU have to be the one to stand up for you. You advocated yourself. Other wise nice blog today

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I wonder if, at these clinics, because trans women often outnumber trans guys, they mistake the “direction” you’re going in. These days when people find out I’m trans, they’re like, “You don’t look trans”… because they’re far more accustomed to trans women than trans men, they think I want to “become” female, when they don’t realize my transition already happened. I love the reactions on their faces.

    Liked by 1 person

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