This is one of my favourite poems that I wrote in my boy. It’s true that I didn’t title any of my works from the book and there is a reason for it, I wanted you the readers to make my writing yours. To think your own life thoughts from your life.
When I tell people, I am a boy
They treat me like a broken toy
When you’re in the wrong body, it feels like a cage
Full of fear and rage
I am transgender is what I will yell
One day my body will get out of this hell
Myself is hard to embrace
When I feel like an empty space
The real me I want to see bloom
Even if I had to walk to the moon
No more shame
When I hear my birth name
Enough with being numb
Happy times will come
I remember very clearly where I was when I wrote this, I was at my dad’s in my childhood home. And feeling the pain that I was going through having told my mum and sister that I’m a trans guy and I remember being very angry at myself because I wanted to be the person that my family wanted so they would accept me.
Then, I realised that before they start to accept me and see me as a man, I have to do that myself first. A bit longer than a year and a half from that day. I did have a name change, and my gender marker changed to male, so my name carries no shame as I said in the last line, I still believe that happy times will come. I guess if I was honest, now that I’m rereading this I think it’s a reminder that everything will be okay in the end.
This month I read 44 books, which is typical for me. I decided to tell you what happened this month, so here we go. This month didn’t start so high, the family had to say farewell to Abby, our dog, and that made the whole feel lost. It was time to face one of my fears head on, I returned to a hair salon, in this case, a barbershop after a lot of anxiety I did it, and it changed the way I look at myself. The magic of a haircut!
I’ve been able to stay in my “happy place.” The reason is I was able to find my comfort zone and got me through hard times, including being sick with a chest infection. A few days ago I got a text from this person saying that I’m “toxic” person, I don’t think I’m but if I ever hurt anyone I’m sorry harming or triggering anyone isn’t my aim in life.
I’m meeting my third endocrinologist on the 24th this month so wish me because I’m scared of the unknown and that my case is rejected but, I’m not going to give up because I know I’m a man and that’s what’s important to me.
I was surfing the web and stumbled upon this video titled “My Perfect Family: Candle Dad”, and it got me interested. It starts with the dad cooking breakfast for his family, who lives in Beachland, Auckland, New Zealand. From the first few minutes in the video Tony, the dad introduces us to Nicki and Emma Sykes, who are only 13 months between each other but what makes them unique is that the sisters both have downs syndrome hence the name downlights that I’ll get to in a minute.
When Emma finished school at age 21, her dad Tony tried to find a job for her, and he asked a variety of businesses that he knew since he had his own business. Sadly no one wanted to give her a job, so they started their own business making candles. They always had candles at home, and Emma really likes them, so the dad thought let’s make candles. However, he soon figured out that making candles it’s not as easy as it seems, so he asked help from his friends and one of them introduced him to Jennifer Del Bel who already had her candle making company.
She offered Tony and Emma to use her manufactured facility to produce their own candles while she taught them those tips and tricks that she picked out along the years. In the beginning, Tony had a small selection of fragrances that he would sell at the market, and that’s what lead to the media picking up the story and talk about it which helped them sell a candle a minute for two days after they appeared on TV. Which help the brand Downlights get on its feet, and I think you already why the name downlights and that’s because both girls have downs syndrome.
The independence in Emma has grown since the start of the business, which is really amazing to see. To see the changes for a better life that this job gave her makes me go speechless! Tony hopes that as the business grows, he can employ more people with downs syndrome so that they too can have a better life.
Let me start everything off, by saying that this topic was my research at Junior College which did earn me one of my A ‘levels, so I’m talking from research and studies point of view apart from the fact that I’m a wheelchair user myself.
My aim in writing this is to answer a question I hear a lot, and that is “Is Malta wheelchair friendly?” my short answer to that is no, we’re nowhere even close as a country to be wheelchair friendly. And you know what pisses me the most is that the government says that people like me have access to go anywhere they do press releases and whatnot and feeding people misleading news for votes. If you sit in a wheelchair for one day, you will get how hard our life is, and no one will care because they don’t even understand what a wheelchair is.
I’m Maltese, born and breed but I need to voice this pain that my own country is causing me and not just me but all for all wheelchair users that live here.
Hey guys, this post is about my life, if you’re here to hear about books tune in with me tomorrow. During the last few weeks, I’ve been having anorexic thoughts, as a teen, I did go through anorexia, not because I wanted to be thin per se, in my case, it’s my gender dysphoria. However, I’m winning the battle by eating. A few days ago, I had to put down my dog Abby, and as a family, that was one of the hardest days we had to as a family. I do pre-blog for the days I’m not feeling well.
I’m on the right track I’m in therapy after many battles my id card came out as male which I’m very proud and happy about that. On the day this post goes up my best friend pushed me to go have a haircut which will make me look less like a bear and will help me feel less dysphoric, so thank you, Neville, for this and everything you help me overcome.