Post Seeing My New Endocrinologist Thoughts

I wasn’t going to post this; in fact, it took me about a month to get the courage to post this. I’m not doing it for pity or for people to feel sorry for me. I’m doing this because it might help someone else and for me to read as time passes.

I must say that going into it; I felt like I was about to be served a prison sentence or being set free. I went into the room, and the nurse asked me who was waiting with me, and I said, mum and sister. The endocrinologist said good morning and started asking questions. I told him about my PCOS, and he opened my old hormones test and what he saw didn’t match with PCOS, and that was a bit of a shock for me. It’s what we were told I had when I was 15 before I was discharged by the gynaecologist I had.


Another issue is my antidepressants (fluvoxamine), which again I was given by a psychiatrist and was discharged by that doctor too. However, he didn’t tell my parents when I can stop taking them being that I was 15; therefore, still underage I had no say in it. Eight years later, I’m still taking them. As I’m learning more about myself, I’m noticing that I feel anxious every time I get dysphoria like they’re best friends or something I won’t have one without the other, which might be the problem here. But again, I’m not a psychiatrist.

When my mum enters the room, she acted very supportively, and that’s not the mum I have to face at home, as you know, my mum is sometimes transphobia. She made the endocrinologist believe that I’m the one who takes my mum out of my life. As you know, I tried so much to tell how I’m feeling, but she is a wall I can’t breakthrough. And her pointing fingers at me hurt, and that’s when I ended up in tears. Luckily as time passes, the relationship with my mum is getting better.



Pup Love

We all know how much joy your pups give us. For those of you who don’t know, I have something called Cerebral Palsy. One day I was in bed with my dog Yoka, and suddenly, this spasm pain hit me, and it was so painful that I couldn’t yell for mum. Luckily my dog noticed that something is wrong, and she went to mum started barking and wouldn’t let go; my mum came into the bedroom, and she found me nearly unconscious.

When the EMTs arrived, they found that my blood pressure was 50/30, which is dangerously low. So, my dog saved my life that day. That’s the reason why when I read this article; it touched me so much that I had to restart writing about this story about five times. Emma Mertens is a seven-year-old girl who is battling, cancer called DIPG or Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma. This type of tumor typically affects kids between five to seven of age and a cure is yet to be found.

Emma from Wisconsin had one wish, that is to receive letters from dogs. Every time she sees a picture of a dog, her face lights up. It all started when her family and friends decided to hop in on this project of sending Emma letters and photos penned by their doggies as a form of pick me.

However, the world soon got wind of this project, after someone posted about it on Facebook and shortly after that a celebrity from the show The Real Housewives of New Jersey shared it on her Instagram, and from there it went viral. Now Emma gets around 3,000 messages every hour and from different corners of the world. A neighbor set up a GoFundMe to cover for Emma’s medical bills since her mother had to stop working to care of Emma.

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CNN News

Emma’s GoFundMe



Life Goals Of Strangers!

This time I went on Omegle and asked people I don’t know one question. What’s one life goal you have? And are the answers I’ve got back.

To be happy.

To travel.

To fall in love with an mtf (trans female) and treat her amazingly.

To be a Product Designer and be financially stable and one day owns a neat house.

To give back to my family.

To make the world a happier place.

Become a successful engineer.

To get married.

To never be short of money.

To graduate college and get into medical school.

To work for the BBC, either full time or freelance.

Finding my soulmate.

Whenever I plan this kind of posts, I try to learn nothing about the stranger I’m talking to for two reasons; the first reason is for my own safety. I try to be as safe as possible online. The other part of it is that I don’t want the stranger to base their answer on who I am. It’s interesting to see that all or most people I chatted with goals were either about finding love in one way or another or a dream job. I don’t know any of the people I spoke to, but I did ask for permission to put their answers in this post.

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A Life Changing Friendship

When I saw this story, I’m about to share with you guys. I saw how the power friendship could turn your life around for the better and forever. Former Neo-Nazi Michael Kent decided to get a swastika after he made friends with an unlikely human.

Michael went to Fallen Heroes tattoo shop to get his tattoo cover and his first professional tattoo. What surprised me was when he said that all his tattoos were made in prison. The interviewer asked, Michael what’s the story behind the ink on his chest. He said that he was a part of a skinhead group. He then opened up about his first racist tattoo, his white pride tattoo, which Michael had to “earn” each letter of his tattoo by committing a violent act. He had the swastika tattoo for over 20 years, and you could see the relief in his eyes while he was getting it covered.

His transition story is an odd one when he got out of jail; his caseload got transferred to a black woman.  When she saw the German war flag, she told him to put it down and hang something positive that you will want to smile when you see it. To help you see positive instead of the hate. Before he turned the page of his life, Michael wouldn’t work for or with anyone who wasn’t white, now not only that did change; he’s the only white person at his job.

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Kingman’s Grandfather

Homelessness is something that we choose not to see especial here in Malta but just because we don’t face doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. However, the town of Kingman, Arizona, went the extra mile. James Zyla, aka Santa James, managed to bring the village of Kingman back together after an ugly incident that slit the town in half.

James, a former real-estate salesman, fell on hard times and ended up homeless, and this is when the goodness in this world made an appearance. The residents of Kingman decided to adopt James as the town’s grandfather.

After an ugly incident split this town, the citizens found common ground when they anointed a homeless poet their “adopted grandfather.”

When interviewed by the Los Angeles Times, he said “It’s not just the young or the old. It permeates the generations.” This statement shows James’s singular spirit and kind heart. After discovering his musical gift and the beautiful ability with words.

The residents made it their mission to give him a place where he can stay, gigs to play and socialise and giving him a helping hand whenever he needs it in exchange for a hug or a smile. The mayor gave him the key to the city. His story became the symbol of hope for this little town.




The 7th of June (last month) I had a day off since in Malta it’s a public holiday here. Having said that I can’t remember why it’s a public holiday. I asked my friend if he wants to hang out and after joining me to the launch of TRANSformazzjoni. TRANSformazzjoni is a documentary by MGRM (Malta Gay Rights Movement). This documentary talks about and showcases trans people and their lives in Malta.

TRANSformazzjoni features five people from the trans community here in Malta, who come from different backgrounds and with their own unique life story to share. From the first five minutes, I connected to the people I watched on screen.

Okay let’s fast forward backwards a bit, back in February I met my friend Alex, and he asked me to take part in it, but I couldn’t because I wasn’t out to my dad back then. And I didn’t want to be outed to my family if by any chance they end up seeing it.

To be 100% honest with you I did write something to go in the documentary which I don’t think made the final cut which doesn’t bother me. Most of us were in tears through out the whole thing, and for me, it was tough to watch because it felt like my personal story being told on screen. I started having flashbacks from my past, and I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest and was very close to face an anxiety attack right then and there.

Thankful I managed to calm myself down. I’m super glad to be invited and be able to attend and watch the launch of this powerful and meaningful piece of art. The ones who created this documentary just uploaded the whole thing on YouTube, so I’ll put the link down below so all of you can watch it. If you’re worried that you won’t understand it cause it’s in Maltese, don’t worry it has subtitles


Rainbow Railroad: Way To Freedom

What we don’t hear a lot about in the media is what LGBTQIA+ people whose countries don’t embrace or have equality laws go through. People in these countries are being thrown to jail and even killed in some cases, because of being who they are, and that’s where Rainbow Railroad comes in.

Rainbow Railroad was established in 2006 and last year alone has helped 198 people. The way that they reach the people who need help is by having a network with the leaders of the LGBTQIA+ communities, which help put forward cases. Sadly Rainbow Railroad can only help the person if they are part of such organisations to ensure trustworthiness. What’s heartbreakingly is that most of these people have body scares as proof of what they endured plus the mental scares that none of us gets to see.

The cost to help a person varies because every case is different. Some people have resources to make a move, but they need the right information. In other cases, it takes Rain Railroad on average $ 10,000 to get the person to safety and their freedom. Does it really work? According to Rainbow Railroad website, every LGBTQIA+ person they’ve helped with travel support to date has been able to claim asylum in a safe country.

Unfortunately, they can’t offer legal advice. What happens once the move is made and the person is set free? They connect the people to other organisations; they are partners with to do the settlement. Since they mainly focus on the move between countries.

Please go on the site I’m linking their website below and DONATE and SUPPORT. My personal reason is that I’m sick and tired of losing amazing people.


Rainbow Railroad Website

Rainbow Railroad YouTube Channel

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