Dark To Light In Transition

Light, Light Bulbs, Hope, Glow, Shining, Lights, Lamp
Image from Pixabay

I guess I’m writing this post because I know that 21-year-old me really needed stuff this but couldn’t find it apart from YouTube videos by trans guys. I had a massive fear of watching YouTube videos because I didn’t want anyone to hear anything and ask questions when I wasn’t ready to answer.

I wanted to keep the pain inside in the hopes that one day it would go away. I hadn’t yet realized that it won’t leave the way I wanted it to. I felt selfish and a monster, having ended a 2-year relationship and fell into a deep depression. My boss at the time encouraged me to reach out for help.

It took me hours to cross that leap and click on that link. I truly felt like a man alone on an island since I didn’t know anyone like me. Right from the get-go, the social worker for the rainbow service validated my feelings and saw my gender dysphoria making it real. Which is what helped me to start and let go. What only a few people know is that a couple of months before. I came out as pansexual to my mum and sister, which left me feeling misunderstood. Now I get that it too much of an unknown world for them. And the things that were said weren’t really meant.

6 thoughts on “Dark To Light In Transition

  1. my goodness, you are really trying and in doing so learning a lot about yourself and others. But the best part (the silver lining) of all of this anguish is the fact you are distributing your knowledge. Are you aware of how many others you are helping? Please always remember that a chrysalis turns into a beautiful moth or butterfly. Go well

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I was first hesitant to watching transitioning videos because I thought it would worsen my depression, because after finally coming out and living full-time I couldn’t medically transition for a year due to lack of coverage and costs. Once I could I ate up everything.

    Liked by 1 person

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