I guess I’m writing this post because I know that 21-year-old me really needed stuff this but couldn’t find it apart from YouTube videos by trans guys. I had a massive fear of watching YouTube videos because I didn’t want anyone to hear anything and ask questions when I wasn’t ready to answer.
I wanted to keep the pain inside in the hopes that one day it would go away. I hadn’t yet realized that it won’t leave the way I wanted it to. I felt selfish and a monster, having ended a 2-year relationship and fell into a deep depression. My boss at the time encouraged me to reach out for help.
It took me hours to cross that leap and click on that link. I truly felt like a man alone on an island since I didn’t know anyone like me. Right from the get-go, the social worker for the rainbow service validated my feelings and saw my gender dysphoria making it real. Which is what helped me to start and let go. What only a few people know is that a couple of months before. I came out as pansexual to my mum and sister, which left me feeling misunderstood. Now I get that it too much of an unknown world for them. And the things that were said weren’t really meant.