-Disclaimer all the opinions that I will talk about in this post are mine, and anything personal discussed by other members will not get repeated here or anywhere –
Before I went to the event, the thought of going mixed with fear was at the back of my mind all week prior. That morning I knew that there were high chances of me having anxiety since the topic on the table was anything trans-related for trans and their partners, which happens monthly. As soon as I entered the place where the meeting was taking place, my heart wanted to get out of my chest so, I came out of the car, and my mum left.
One of my friends and I said hey, and he went to continue whatever he was doing because this event is part of his job. Luckily neither my social worker who was there for another panel nor my friend picked up on how tense I was, which would have been embarrassing. What I did was I removed myself from the group found a quiet corner and that allowed me to lower my heart rate back to normal than I went back to chat with the others.
My next challenge was talking, and that’s a challenge for me for two reasons. Like some trans people, I know I have gender dysphoria around how high my voice is, on top of that is that my Cerebral Palsy muscles get tense every time I speak so, as you might have guessed I sweated through all my layers of clothes. My two main fears were not getting accepted by the group because of my disability, but that wasn’t the case because everyone accepted everyone.
My other concern was that I would talk too much since that’s what I tend to do when I’m anxious, I tried my best to hold on my breakers on that one. As a whole, it was pretty fun and something that I would do again. If you are trans and in Malta or going to be in Malta, let me know so I can tell you how to join us for the next one.