Quiet Wars by Texas Teddy Bear

I’m not a fan of sharing memories that can be bitter, mind you. For me, it’s healing since I’m ready to write about it and move on. This one is bittersweet in a way. We start school around 3 or 4 years old, when I began attending school. From pre-school to year 3, we stayed in the same class in terms of classmates, so we became close to the point that they came to my home after school, something I had forgotten about until this week.

My school grades have always been good, thanks to my love of learning, even if I did things my way. In year 3, I got Whooping Cough, which I was vaccinated against as a baby, which might be the reason why it didn’t kill me. Sadly, I lost a significant number of school days that year, and my grades suffered as a result. And that year, they decided to divide us into different classes, so most of the people I was close to weren’t there.

So people stopped talking to me during breaks. It’s around there that I developed severe anxiety about people I care about leaving, and I still get that from time to time, but I’m better at dealing with it now. Everything came back to me while I was in the hospital. One of my old classmates came to get my blood drawn. Hours later, I found Quiet Wars by Texas Teddy Bear and the words  ‘’You learned young that tears don’t win the fight’’ ‘’So you carry your hurt like it owes you light’’. It felt like he was talking to me.

Quiet Wars by Texas Teddy Bear Lyrics:

They say be strong, but never teach you how

So you learn to smile and just push it down

Shake hands with pain, wear it like a suit

But silence doesn’t heal, it just hides the truth

You joke too loud when the room gets dark

Drink to forget, then call it art

Scroll for love through a thousand strange faces

But it hides the truth in pixelated places

No medals for the ones who break

Only whispers for the ones who ache

But there’s a war inside we never show

And peace begins the day we let it go

We’re all fighting quiet wars

Behind locked doors, with invisible scars

Pretending we’re fine, while falling apart

Looking for God in a broken heart

But maybe being brave’s not holding it in

Maybe strength is saying, “this is where I’ve been”

So take off the mask, leave it on the floor

You’re not alone in your quiet war

You learned young that tears don’t win the fight

So you carry your hurt like it owes you light

But healing don’t come dressed up in pride

Sometimes you’ve gotta sit with the storm inside

We build high walls, call them control

But freedom starts where the truth is told

You don’t need fixing, you just need grace

Someone to see the lines in your face

We’re all fighting quiet wars

Behind locked doors, with invisible scars

Pretending we’re fine, while falling apart

Looking for God in a broken heart

But maybe being brave’s not holding it in

Maybe strength is saying, “this is where I’ve been”

So take off the mask, leave it on the floor

You’re not alone in your quiet war

One day you’ll meet someone who sees

The ghosts you hide beneath your sleeves

And they won’t run, they’ll take your hand

And say “I’ve been there, I understand”

We’re all fighting quiet wars

But there’s hope in yours, there’s an open door

You’re not broken, you’re just bruised

And being honest is how we lose

The shame, the weight, the need to pretend

‘Cause real love starts where the stories bend

So take off the mask, let the healing pour

You’re not alone… not anymore

Old Friends:

Listening to a random beat

A random note

Not knowing what will come next

Even if there are tracks

That at some time

They will connect

To the void

That you learn to understand

Why has it been misunderstood

Alex