Do you know the kind of song that grabs your heart from your chest and throws it in a place you don’t think you will ever find it? She Used To Be Mine by Sara Bareilles. In fact, it’s the kind of song I can’t listen to on a daily basis; it creates deep emotions, and the lyrics are like a photo album, but with my memories. It was written for the musical Waitress, I believe. I listened to the cover by Chloe Adams, which was great, but Nicolina’s gave me goosebumps; she did it in a way that felt like she was telling a story.
It’s a song that talks about womanhood, and in many ways that is the most painful topic for me. In my early teens, I lost an aunt who was like a second mother to me, so the verses: She’s imperfect, but she tries; she is good, but she lies really stuck with me, but not for the reason it was written, because the only thing I regret having come out at 21 is that she never fully met my true self, so yes I wonder if it would have changed our relationship or if she would have accepted me. They are questions I won’t have answers to, but writing about it helps.
“She Used To Be Mine” Lyrics:
It’s not simple to say
Most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used to be
Although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl
She’s imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine
It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person
And makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who’ll be reckless just enough
Who’ll get hurt
But who learns how to toughen up when she’s bruised
And gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day
‘Til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone
But used to be mine
Used to be mine
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine
Message From Heaven:
I wish there was a way
For you to send me a message
Or a sign in one of our songs
We sang in full volume
Without being able to hold a tune
Since in the darkness of night
You were my moon