Hurts So Bad by Dean Lewis

By now, you can guess that I like Dean Lewis’ music, but here’s the catch: I don’t actively go searching for what celebrities are doing. In fact, I knew none of the people I mentioned in my coming out posts. However, if I find a song I like, it might go on repeat until I get fed up with it. The connection with this song isn’t a positive one. “Hurts So Bad” talks about a relationship that had ended, but to me, it has a different meaning.

The lyrics “Trying to prove who I was” and “ And you’re too afraid to give it up” really hit home because this week I’ve been seriously thinking about having to quit blogging. I get how that isn’t a big deal to many, but outside of books, this is the place I can fully be myself because most days I write to live, not the other way. I have been told I can never be a writer a lot, and when, due to pain, I was unable to type outside of work, I quietly teared up.

Hurts So Bad Lyrics:

Was it something I said?
Did I take it too far?
Trying to prove who I was
It only emptied my heart
‘Cause I watched you drive away
In your getaway car
When you pulled me in close
Yeah, you pulled me apart

‘Cause when you love something a little too much
And you’re too afraid to give it up
You watch everything just disappear at once

So why’s it gotta hurt so bad?
Why’s it gotta be like this?
‘Cause you asked me to hold on tight
And every single time I did
Now I’m standing outside your door, love
Singing in the pouring rain
I gave it everything I could
But you don’t wanna speak again
Why’s it hurt so bad?

I forgot who I was
That I became what you wanted
‘Cause we were dancing in the dark
And I was lost in a panic

So I turned my cheek but you turned a little more
And I lost every part of who I was before

So why’s it gotta hurt so bad?
Why’s it gotta be like this?
‘Cause you asked me to hold on tight
And every single time I did
Now I’m standing outside your door, love
Screaming in the pouring rain
I gave everything I could
But you don’t wanna speak again
Why’s it hurt so bad?

Hurt so
Hurt so
Hurt so bad
Hurt so
Hurt so
Hurt so bad

Why’s it hurt so bad?
Why’s it gotta end like this?
You asked me to hold on tight
And every single time I did
Now I’m standing outside your door, love
Screaming in the pouring rain
I gave it everything I could
But you don’t wanna speak again
And it hurts so bad

Us

You and I lived in different eras

But with the same fears and tears

Whole and broken mirrors

The shining magic of glass

Yet the cutting hurt is coming through

When all, we start to

Only see the errors

Looking back at us