More To Lose by Miley Cyrus

The reason that I haven’t written this post yet is that I fear that talking about bits and pieces of my life or the life I have lived but I fear it would bore people, but I can’t get this thing out of my head, so I have to write about it whether or not I post it is another thing. I talked about my ex, who was going to come to Malta with the help of a TV show. We stayed together for the better part of two years. The idea of a happily ever after back then, so talking about it is bittersweet.

One of my biggest fears is dying alone, which is something I worry about, but I tried to make peace with the thought that, likely, I won’t have a partner for the long run, and now I’m not being negative, just realistic. After the show, I tried really hard to stay in my relationship while fighting my own demons. One day, while yet another crying session, my mum sat on my bed, and words came out about how I was feeling.

That was my relationship with the person I thought was my soulmate, which was ending, and I feared that I would be alone for the rest of my life. She hugged me and told me that I would be fine on days like right now. I hold on to these words like threads of hope on days when loneliness is winning. I blamed my need to come out as the reason for the ending of the relationship, nearly 10 years later, and that the fault wasn’t all mine to bear. The song I picked is the new release of Miley Cyrus, More To Lose. The beginning lines really hit home.

“The more I stay, the less I go
We’re toe to toe, but I’m hanging on the wire
Stumbled down the same road before”

More To Lose by Miley Cyrus Lyrics:

The more I stay, the less I go
We’re toe to toe but I’m hanging on the wire
Stumbled down the same road before
Say I’m leaving but I’m only playing liar
‘Cause when you’re looking like

A movie star in a worn out coat
Yeah, throw away my mind
It happens all the time

I stay when the ecstasy is far away
And I pray that it’s coming ’round again
And you say it
But I wish it wasn’t true
I knew someday that one would have to choose
I just thought we had more to lose

The TV’s on but I don’t know
My tears are streaming like our favorite show tonight
Tonight
Memories fade like denim jeans
I try to chase when you’re running through my mind
‘Cause, god, you’re looking like

You’re looking like a movie star in a worn out coat
So I throw away my mind
It happens all the time

Oh, I stay when the ecstasy is far away
And I pray that it’s coming ’round again
And you say it
But I wish it wasn’t true
I knew someday that one would have to choose
I just thought we had more to lose

Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na

Yeah, you’re looking like a movie star in a worn out coat
So I throw away my pride
It happens all the time
God, it happens all the time

Oh, I stay when the ecstasy is far away
And I pray that it’s coming ’round again
But it don’t, baby
And you say it
But I wish it wasn’t true, no
I knew someday that one would have to choose
I knew someday you’d do what I couldn’t do
I just thought we had more to lose

A Hug:

A hug a way

Is what I begged my way

But you wanted her

Since she was the one

Who was there

Made you forfeit the game

We used to call love

Before I started not needing

The image of you

Alex