It’s Not Just Eating

Do you know what’s weird? Posts about my personal life are the hardest to write, be warned that I’ll be talking about one of the most challenging periods in my life and going through my old eating disorder which might trigger people, so you guys know I’m not super comfortable with my body, and if you need a reason I’m trans and have gender dysphoria. As a teen, I didn’t have a ton of friends so as soon as I made a friend, they quickly became my best friend.

She got in a fight with me, and she said you should wear a bra sometimes, even if I wore them at the time, my mind had a wake-up call that people see my weakness and shame that I worked so hard to hide. I didn’t know there was such a thing as chest binders. I ate only two milkshakes a day using skimmed milk, not even whole fat mil, and I times skip the shakes too. My weight dropped, and at first, no one noticed not even me. I started experiencing headaches, throat aches, hair loss and inflamed gums in my mouth

By the time the people noticed, I had lost so much weight that I couldn’t do my tricks to look a healthy weight anymore. My school expelled me instead of helped me. My parents sent me to a psychiatrist and being that I was 15, I had no say in it. The psychiatrist gave me anti-depressants and discharged me, which of course didn’t work because the issue was much more profound than what meets the eye. As an adult, I started a psychologist that helped me understand my eating disorder and helped me heal.

What I want to say to you if you’re going through something like this it does get better even it doesn’t feel like it will right now. Just ask for help, have faith in yourself, and give it time like me you might need more time to heal.

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