I left this for the end of the month for a reason because my emotions about what it’s like to be queer and trans kept changing all month long, plus I’m unsure how people will take what I have to say on queer trans topics, but if I don’t feel safe on my own platform. Let’s start with something basic: who you identify as isn’t the same as your sexuality. Identity is only connected to oneself; it’s something you feel from within. On the other hand, sexuality is the connection you want with other person/persons. On the page, but in a different heading, is Ace sexuality, just the person doesn’t want to have sex, which doesn’t mean they don’t want any kind of relationship.
The next thing is body parts. Just because you are aware that someone is trans, because they are comfortable sharing that information, doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you have the right to know what is under my clothes. If you are unsure and worried about misgendering, the best way to proceed is to ask the person what pronouns they go by. The only setting where your biological sex might need to be confirmed is a medical situation; even then, they should do so respectfully.
If you are triggered by people sending nudes left, right and centre, I would avoid apps like Snapchat. This might be my point of view, but people have been sharing their bodies in public stories. I had people sending me nudes without saying a single word, and if I’m pansexual, I find doing it like that very weird and can trigger dysphoria.
There is a bigger issue: if you are sending nudes randomly and the receiver is a minor, that is a crime in most of the world. By the way, there is this myth regarding pansexuality. I often get told that you must date a lot of people since you like everyone. It’s the opposite, for me at least, since if there isn’t any kind of connection while we are chatting, I know it won’t work, and as I just said, most aren’t even chatting to start with. I know this is a random rant, but I felt the need to post it. If you have any thoughts, I would love to discuss.
Alex