I’m Sorry I’m Here for Someone Else by Benson Boone

To some, this post might sound like a lame of a guy who lived as a girl talking about what was a relationship to me. As a writer, I thought I was about to write about anything that came, but there were a few months in my life, I secretly wrote about but never explored what happened through its darkness. A few weeks ago, a woman came in with an application at work, and I knew I knew her from somewhere, but it didn’t click where. As I opened the application, I found out it was my ex’s paper. So, I told her I know your son, but he won’t remember me. She couldn’t figure out why that was, and I didn’t tell her why.

There was this guy I had a crush on for years, and he hated my guts, but by age 15, I was very skinny because, like many trans people, I struggled with my body and weight. Mind you, the area I wanted to go down was my chest, but sadly, it felt the same no matter how much I didn’t eat. This guy finally noticed me, and what I thought was love was, in fact, lust on his part; he just wanted my body, and I felt my body was trash, so I let him use me.

He gave me a deadline for when he wouldn’t have anything to do with me. Now, I’m hoping that his appointment won’t be during my shift because I don’t want to see him. I didn’t know I would write about this until I listened to I’m Sorry I’m Here for Someone Else by Benson Boone from the release radar, and it brought all the feelings I thought I had got rid of come back. I’m doing this for two reasons: to face the blame I put on myself for years and to remind parents to listen to their kids without judging since that’s the best way to help.

I’m Sorry I’m Here for Someone Else Lyrics:

I’m sorry, I’m here for someone else
But it’s good to see your face
And I really hope you’re doing well
I hope you’re doing well
(Here we go, one, two, one, two, three)

She was running late for dinner south side of town
Left the phone a little bitter, but it’s cool for now
Far from perfect for each other, but we’re working it out, I suppose (I suppose)
Now I’m waiting at the diner, looking traumatized
‘Cause you walk up to the table with an order of fries
And I know you
Yes, I know you
Used to love you (Used to love you)
And I said

“I’m sorry I’m here for someone else
It’s good to see your face
And I really hope you’re doing well
I hope you’re doing well
I’m sorry I’m here for someone else
I wish that I could stay
And talk at the bar all by ourselves
But I’m here for someone else”

(Come on, what happened next, Benny?)
(Yeah, come on)

When she finally walks into the restaurant
Hate to say it, but I knew it, I was already gone
Oh, Benny, don’t do it, you’re breaking her heart
Benny, don’t do it
Benny, don’t do it
But I need to go (I need to, I need to, I need to)
It’s not personal
When I say

“I’m sorry I’m here for someone else
It’s good to see your face
And I really hope you’re doing well
I hope you’re doing well
I’m sorry I’m here for someone else
I know you wish that I could stay
And talk at the bar all by ourselves
But I’m here for someone else”

I’m still in love with you
I’m going outta my mind

(I, I, I) I-I-I-I couldn’t take it anymore
I was already running for the kitchen doors
You were always the one I shoulda waited for
I can’t lose you again, not again, not again, not again

Advice:

Blame isn’t seen yet as heavy to carry

Years later, it doesn’t have a reason

Yet, it is still there

Since hearts and ears were closed

So pain couldn’t be shared

After being told

That the fault was mine to hold

So, my advice to mums and dads

Is to empower your kids

Because others will try

To break them down

Alex