Thoughts On My Mind

You know what’s the excellent part of being told blogging is lame, being pretty sure that they will never read what I have to say. I have been thinking about this post for a while, and the reason I haven’t written it yet is that I still can’t believe that people care about what I have to say. So here we go. I’m talking about relationships, but most of them aren’t with humans, which might mean this post turns weird.

Thoughts on dating online:

I live on an island, and if I were to try dating in person, I don’t think I would find anyone I would click with. Believe me, I tried, but it’s like I became invisible due to my shyness—unless people were staring at my wheelchair. A lot of the people who add me on social media say hey and ask to see my body, which will never happen for a number of reasons. I have recently been speaking to someone, but as I told them what I might be feeling and how they would feel about dating a person with a disability, this is the last solid conversation we had.

My current thoughts on religion:

Both sides of my family are super religious, so I grew up seeing the church and praying as a duty. I always had a powerful sense of justice, so I started questioning things in my teens, and people saw this as a way to rebel. As it is, I believe there is a God, but I know the church I grew up in won’t accept me as myself.

Thoughts on writing projects:

About a year and a half ago, I started a writing project, and I find it significantly healing, but to heal, you need to be ready for it, so I haven’t continued working on it. Plus, both Turning Paige and this project are very raw to me, so I’m scared of being judged and how that will feel. I did give Turning Paige to an editor last November to see if it’s a piece they want to work on, but they haven’t answered me yet.

I understand that this might be weird, but I hope at least some of you will get this human side of me.

Alex