My Trans Self and Friends

Image is from Pixabay

Hey, I’m someone who likes to think that I can bury my deepest feelings and like to play a game of pretending. Acting like I’m a robot is way easier than digging into my human side and figuring out the reasons behind the way I feel.

Friends:

Believe me, I understand that all of us have a fast-paced and busy life, so I do try and reach out, especially if I consider you a close friend. I only had one in the period I was trying to come out as myself. When I told them I’m trans, they started to make jokes about my body. For the sake of my mental health, I stopped messaging daily; then, my laptop needed a format, and I never downloaded skype.

Even before I came out, when a friendship turned nasty, comments about my body always came into play. I guess being friends with someone, and you would know how to push their buttons. Of course, talking to me, people picked up on the discomfort around my body and used it as a weapon to hurt me.

Being 21, friendless and new to the community, I was starving for relationships of any kind, good or bad. I was shocked by the backlash I got when people learnt I was a wheelchair user. So, here I was in a community I thought I would belong to, being told I don’t. It took me a lot of self-processing to reverse the self-blame I put on myself. Luckily, I think I’m at a place where I’m good alone or with friends or, one day, with a partner.

Alex

8 thoughts on “My Trans Self and Friends

  1. It is good to see you have had the strength to move forward. It is terrible to be abandoned by friends at the moment of need, but it is also the time when you discover that they were only ever false friends. Letting go of those is much easier.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My Son, Michael, (Now deceased) was Trans and his biggest concern was always “Acceptance.” I will tell you what I told him, “If there are people who cannot accept you and love you for who you are, then they are not worth the time of day.” Prejudices of all kinds are everywhere in uptight America. But believe me, there are people somewhere out there who will overlook all the externals and will see your soul and those are the ones who will bond with you… and they are out there. All you have to do is to continue to show yourself friendly and if you do that, friends will come. Just do not ruminate or grieve over people who are not worth a minute of your time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am always naive and am shocked by the lack of decency in people. It costs nothing to be kind. I hope you find your community in the LGBTQ+ groups. I know there are some great online and in person meetups etc. I wish you the best. And any friends that dehumanizes you is not a friend or a good human.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So glad you have found the strength and always remember other people’s attitudes are never your fault, sadly sometimes we cannot change how people think – but that remains their problem – keep being strong 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s