This is more of a dear diary post than anything. When it comes to building a world that is only alive in my head, I’m great. However, I can’t voice it when it comes to my personal life, so my only choice is to write about it. I bottle things a lot because I have a fear that sharing my thoughts and emotions would bother the people around me. So, be warned if you don’t want to read about the struggles of an author, blogger or a simple human, skip this one.
Living the world, I’m writing about has always been escapism for me, and at times, the two mix so much that I don’t know which is which. In reality, I think writing Turning Paige is what helped me with the pandemic and getting fired.
When I told people the idea, everyone would help me; sadly, when I finished it. Doors were closed and starting to be invisible, which made me self-doubt even more. Months have passed, and it still lives somewhere on my laptop. In all honesty, I don’t know if it will ever see the light of day. Last week, my mum asked if my book ever sold more copies.
Well, first of all, whenever anyone is willing to read my book, I always give them a copy free of charge. Secondly, I don’t know if I still remember how to access the site to see. Plus, the platform I used, CreateSpace, is powered by Amazon as a self-publishing way, and they won’t give me a cent until I hit 100 euros. As much as this might be discouraging, I have an idea for a new novel in verse that I can’t seem to let go of. So yea, I’m hoping to start writing again soon. It feels more like a need than a want in my current life
Mybookworld24 
‘ It feels more like a need ‘ ….much writing comes from the inner urge of a ‘need’ to write….
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Yes
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My complain is, the lack of time to pursue every idea to its end, even though a lot of them might be dead-end.
Also, the need to make money to live, which monopolizes my time.
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“I have a fear….would bother people around me.” Yes and no. Everything including your physical presence and appearance bothers people. Don’t get bothered by what bothers people. Knowing about it is one thing and living to ‘not bother others’ is another. All life is violent in its essence. We strive to be least violent and yet silence of good people becomes cause for noise by not-so-good people. Shout all you need as long as you need it. See if it changes anything…at least for you.
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love this, rings very true
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Thasnk
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I am happy to learn you still want to write despite not being able to sell many copies of the first novel. What you are going through is an integral part of writing a novel and almost all new writers experience it. Writing and publishing a book is half the job. Take time to learn how to market your creative work in this Digital era then keep writing.All the best.
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Thanks
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