Doesn’t any easy post from me to share or write. I don’t know a person who enjoys sharing what they feel is one of their weakness. I’m choosing to do so in the hopes that it helps someone out there. A way in which I try to practice self-love is by trying to reduce the pressure and shame I put on myself.
My chest started to develop early on in life to my dread, which gave me the first taste of gender dysphoria. You want to know the ironic thing: when I was a young kid, I used to say I wanted a pair like my mum. Thinking back about it, it’s sad that I felt I had no choice, even at that age. Having a pretty religious family made things worse.
I was taught that God made you perfect; therefore, you can’t change it in any way or at least that’s the message I got, which caused a lot of pain and anger. As a teen, I held all of that inside, which is unhealthy and caused me many issues. I tried to speak to my social worker at the time. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to listen about it, so I told him what he wanted to hear.
In my case, a side effect of hormones is that the fat dispersion ended up in my chest area. Binding plus the extra fat doesn’t make my lungs help, adding to why I need top surgery sooner rather than later. Being bigger chested doesn’t leave me a ton of options but a double mastectomy. The Maltese government hasn’t yet started giving this procedure for free. Trans people like myself have to do it privately, and let me tell you, it doesn’t come cheap.
Alex
Mybookworld24 
One day the world will catch up with what full equality really means, Alex.
LikeLiked by 2 people
We all hope that
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have a hard time that each person was made “perfectly”. Tell that to the parents trying to conceive but continue to have miscarriages, even though the Bible says, “Be fruitful and multiply.” Tell that to the child dying from an organ defect or juvenile cancer. Tell that to the AFABs like me who, not only was I was born with the wrong organs, the ones this God gave me were malformed and caused severe hormonal issues that affected my quality of life (I had PCOS, but I know women who have endometriosis, both severe gynecological issues).
I don’t care for the old standards of transitioning, with the gate keeping and all that. But if you have to lie and follow the “script” in any of those old countries that still follow therapy, RLE, etc, do what you have to do to get things done. I just don’t recommend the black market to get hormones; you don’t know if it’s the real deal, how watered down it is, or if there’s filler content that can risk your health. Just continue to bind, eat cruciferous veggies (their anti-estrogen), and avoid red meats (the ironical item considered most “manly” to eat, but increases estrogen production 🤣).
LikeLiked by 2 people
Are you still interested in the interview?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had to get a secondary opinion from an independent therapist I was seeing for mental issues separate from my gender dysphoria to prove to my then insurance company that I was mentally sound to undergo gender affirmative surgeries. I got chest surgery, no problem. With bottom surgery (which I made sure to get independent letter again to prevent hiccups), having had PCOS left my ovaries effed up and caused major issues with bottom surgery that I wasn’t able to continue with getting a meta. Turns out my surgeon and gynecologist both decided against pursuing with the meta, but even now I have no desire to get phallo, from thinking it’s not worth the risks, to being unable to take the 6+ months off from work to recover (both financial [even though I can claim temporary disability to recoup some of my lost income from not working] and lifestyle reasons).
If I pursue things again, my old clinic or my current telemedicine provider will get me all the letters I need to tell the insurance company that I’m good to go.
Which I find ironic, a catch-22. A lot of trans people have physical dysphoria that it causes major mental health issues, but the insurance companies (whether private like in the US, or nationalized like in the UK) want to make sure we’re “mentally sound” before we undergo anything. It’s a cycle that feeds itself, like WTF. 🤬
LikeLiked by 1 person
Respect…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLike
It’s not easy putting personal issues up on screen…..but it does get a load off your chest as I’ve discovered…..
LikeLiked by 1 person