Okay, this is a touchy subject for me, so I try to stay far away from this topic. I also one of my ex’s blog, and he follows mine, so the chances of him seeing this post are high. Being that I haven’t done any kind of dating is more than I think, I’m in the mindset of opening about it.
Believe it or not, I never catfished anyone and acted to be a man before I came out. But, sadly, I have been catfished many times. I was 13 because, at the time, you had to be 13 or over to have a Facebook account. By the way, am I the only one who remembers MSN and HI5? Within a few months of being on Facebook, I got a Facebook message from someone who says he wants to be my friend, and he met me before. I kept trying to figure out where I met this human, but nothing came to mind. When I kept asking, he kept running from the question. At the time, I was too young and too internet naïve to the red flags.
As years passed, we stayed friends. By this time, I was 15, and I started to have feelings for this guy. The issue now is that I had watched Catfish, so I knew the person I fell in love with wasn’t the person I was talking to. So I confronted him, and he came clean after that. We stayed friends for about a month, but I knew I would end it. Not going to lie; this wasn’t the post I had in mind, as you might have guessed. It honestly felt like my words had their own path, and I just followed. Now, all I have to do is change the title.
Alex
Image Source: Pixabay
Mybookworld24 
I chatted with the last girl I found online, but after our zoom date I ghosted her. But the date ended up turning into an academic thing, rather than a meetup getting to know one another. So I just blocked the person on my phone and social media, called it a day I dated someone prior, where ever date ended up turning into some kind of discourse (discourse, as in one-way; not a discussion, which is two-way) on something political. That kind of stuff I want to wait till I’ve dated someone several times before bringing up.
If someone did the same to me, blocking me and not returning contact, I’d get it, it’s over, I’ll move on. I won’t torture myself thinking “why”. Maybe sounds shallow, but that’s the difference between dating and relationships. One is just getting to know someone (ie it’s casual, the other is spending your time with someone (ie it’s formal). One of the best wisdoms my old man ever told me, when I first came out as a “lesbian” to him when I was 17.
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I haven’t dated in years now and I kindly gave on love.
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I’m starting to think I may be “demi-romantic”, where I guess I must really like a girl before wanting to date her.
I don’t otherwise like the idea of dating, because it means I need to check in with her about doing activities, means sacrificing a lot of my independence, means the risk of lots of fights and other negativity I don’t want in my life, means having to constantly choose between doing things with her vs my friends (and risk upsetting her if I want to do things with friends but without her).
I’m highly commitment-phobic not only because of past abuses and chasers, but also because I’ve spent far more time being single and enjoying it, than I have been in a relationship. And I’m at the age plenty of women want to have kids and start a family—NOT something I’m willing to commit to again. Not when I want to focus on advancing my career, and in a few years after being with my current company, eventually put in for an international transfer and live and work abroad for a few years as an expat for my company. Not fair to ask her to make sacrifices for me (not something I’m willing to do for her), not fair to any kids we would have (constantly relocating is known to have harmful affects on kids, especially kids who move constantly to different cultures, their sense of self delays or suffers as a result).
If I end up a confirmed bachelor, I’m good. I got friends to age with. Friends who provide me, and I to them, that emotional bond we all seek. As for those physical needs … I’m good. 😉
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