4 Years In Transition!

Birthday, Cake, Sweet, Celebration, Birthday Cake
Image from Pixabay

Today not only I turn 25, but today four years ago I came out to my mum. She is one of the most important humans to me, so I consider this day as my ‘coming out’ day. Also, today I took my fourth shot of enanthate (Testosterone).  I’m still on a half dose, but I’m hoping to go on a full dose next March. However, that depends on my blood results and how my liver is doing.

When it comes to body changes, I don’t see or have a ton. My friend told me that my voice sounds slightly deeper, which makes sense because my throat has been pretty sore. Okay, let me try to explain your neck gets thicker the lower your voice gets or at least that’s how my friend described it. My cycle stopped after the second injection. I have areas on my arms where it’s getting hairier. Walking in the street, I get less misgendered by strangers.

A few days ago, a sort of situation happened. It all began when I went to a job interview here in Gozo. Which isn’t ideal for my mental health but I’m trying everything at this point. I explained that I’m transgender since my school certifications still have my deadname.

After about two weeks someone phoned my mum and asked her if it’s real that I’m trans. She answered them that being trans is what’s in fashion right now. When she told me this, it broke my heart. Her answer shows me that she doesn’t see me as a man and still thinks it’s a choice to transition or just a phase even after four years.



28 thoughts on “4 Years In Transition!

  1. Oh I’m sorry I missed your birthday Happy 25th birthday a quarter of a century old and congrats on hitting 4 as well xxx ❤️❤️🎁🎈

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A belated happy birthday!
    I am frequently astonished that my boys are as tall as I am – I still imagine them as my little boys walking into school holding hands, or the babies I nursed. Maybe part of the reason it’s hard for your mum to see you as a man is because you’re still her child, and it’s hard to grapple with the slow transition from baby to adult, let alone the transition from woman to man on top of that. Maybe she feels like she’s losing you even more.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry for that. As a mom I can say that if someone called and questioned my child’s life choices I’d probably tell them to get lost. This may have been your mom’s way of trying to be funny or not make it “too big of a deal”… It sounds like she’s been fairly supportive so don’t be too hard on her. You had a lot longer to process this. Also the fact that you say “dead name” –that was you’re mom’s baby. There has to be some grieving at that loss. I know as a mom I would be. Go give her a hug. She’s there for you but she’s lost too.
    Happy Birthday. I want a piece of that beautiful rainbow cake.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey Alex. I hope I didn’t offend. Your journey is so powerful and life changing. And four years in already?! So many things for me to learn. If you were here I’d give you a birthday hug.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I have one parent who wouldn’t consider me their “son” until I got “the surgery”. Six months after coming out and getting injections, I was already prepping for one. Same parent that wouldn’t let me initially masculinize my name, yet 4 years later wish I did so they could still call me “Charlie”. (Yes, I legally changed my name twice. Once they legit said that I already mailed in those forms and initial US$250 deposit. Took longer to do the second time, because COVID.)


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