Today not only I turn 25, but today four years ago I came out to my mum. She is one of the most important humans to me, so I consider this day as my ‘coming out’ day. Also, today I took my fourth shot of enanthate (Testosterone). I’m still on a half dose, but I’m hoping to go on a full dose next March. However, that depends on my blood results and how my liver is doing.
When it comes to body changes, I don’t see or have a ton. My friend told me that my voice sounds slightly deeper, which makes sense because my throat has been pretty sore. Okay, let me try to explain your neck gets thicker the lower your voice gets or at least that’s how my friend described it. My cycle stopped after the second injection. I have areas on my arms where it’s getting hairier. Walking in the street, I get less misgendered by strangers.
A few days ago, a sort of situation happened. It all began when I went to a job interview here in Gozo. Which isn’t ideal for my mental health but I’m trying everything at this point. I explained that I’m transgender since my school certifications still have my deadname.
After about two weeks someone phoned my mum and asked her if it’s real that I’m trans. She answered them that being trans is what’s in fashion right now. When she told me this, it broke my heart. Her answer shows me that she doesn’t see me as a man and still thinks it’s a choice to transition or just a phase even after four years.