I have many posts around the topic of hair and salons and the anxiety they cause me. However, after nearly three months without a haircut, it was starting to enable me even to wash my hands with my eyes open due to gender dysphoria, which causes me bruising from bumping into stuff with the chair which isn’t safe.
My closest friend noticed and asked me about it, and I told him the truth. He came up with a plan he’ll look for an accessible barber shop and book us both a haircut. When he told me that he did it, I tried to get out of going in every way possible, because I felt I didn’t deserve it (sometimes my mind is dumb I know) he told the barber that I’m a transgender male and that I use male pronouns which looking back it was a good idea. On the day, I was sick twice due to anxiety, but there was no way I would let down my best friend.
So I made my mum take me which wasn’t an excellent idea for two reasons, firstly, I’m 23, and I needed some space to keep myself together. Secondly, my mum misgenders me and uses the wrong pronouns which confuse people about which pronouns to use when talking to me. The barber saw me shaking, and surprisingly he knew what to do and calmed me down.
We figured out a style for me and as soon as he touched the clippers to my head my body relaxed. It felt so good to be doing something that creates fear with my best friend doing the same thing in the chair next to me. I did pay the same as a ‘normal’ guy would, I’m pointing out this because I heard that in some barber shops and salons a transgender guy has to pay more for a regular haircut.
Thank you, Adrian, for giving me what I needed to overcome my dysphoria. I’ll leave his info below, so if you are in Malta, go check him out, you won’t regret promise. I wasn’t paid to say all that, but he deserves it.